My company means well. Each Christmas they give the staff a Christmas gift. Now I understand that they do this because the IRS would tax them if they gave out bonuses. I'd still rather have the money though. Human Resources has pointed out time and again how hard it is to find a gift to please everyone. However, I'm still not sure they always come up with the best ideas. So here is a review of past Christmas gifts from my company. Keep in mind all of these products are emblazoned with our company logo.
Umbrella This actually seems like a practical gift since all of us (except HR and the CEO, of course) have to walk a mile from the parking lot. I don't actually own this gift. It was given out the year before I joined the company. I saw a few of these in my first year, but they've been gone ever since. Apparently they break very easily. Good attempt, but a cheap product.
Baseball Cap This is pretty useless. We can't wear it to work and I wouldn't wear it out anywhere (except maybe to mow the lawn). It' a greyish/brownish cap with a blue bill. It also features our old logo which is pretty much unreadable at a distance. The material looks like it's been through the wash cycle 50 times. I supposed it's supposed to be "distressed," but it looks more like the company we got them from had 150 extra hats from a previous project that they needed to get rid of, so they stamped our logo on them and called it a day.
Duffle Bag I actually like this gift. It's the perfect size to fit under an airplane seat and is made out of high(er) quality material. I've actually used this several times on trips. Props to the people who chose this gift.
Blue Fleece-Lined Jacket Two years in a row with sensible gifts. Wow! I actually wear this all the time. It a short jacket lined with fleece. It's perfect for fall weather. Completely useless in the winter, but it serves it's purpose.
Folding Chair Apparently someone in HR subscribes to the "Generic Logo-Placement Gifts Catalog." It's one of those portable folding chairs with the company's logo on it. No cup holder, footstool, head covering like the fancy models. Most everyone seems to already own several of these and I have never seen this item again since it was handed out. Presumably it's in my garage somewhere and gets thrown in my trunk when we go to an event requiring us to bring our own chair, but never gets taken out because everyone already has one from their company. Also I own a Purdue chair, so why would I promote my company when I can promote my school? Yeah, I need to grow up someday.
Blanket Again, reasonably good thought, bad execution. This is one of the fleece blankets that fold up in it's own pocket. "Perfect for carrying to picnics" I believe is the slogan for this one. However, when you fold the blanket up (which is near impossible) to fit in the pocket, you find the zipper for the pocket...is on the inside. So that doesn't make much sense. I assume most people use blankets to cover up in, not go on picnics. Unfortunately I'm 6 foot tall and this blanket is about 50" long. At least I can cover my feet with it.
Black Fleeced-Lined Coat I guess they were tired of seeing everyone wear those blue fleece coats around. So this one is black, slightly longer, and has a hood. Also, only the body is lined, not the arms. This makes no sense to me. If you wear this in the fall, your chest is hot while the rest of you is comfortable; if you wear this in the winter, your chest stays warm while your arms freeze. I'm seen a few people wear these, but mostly those blue fleeced coats are the main fashion choice in jackets around here.
Fire extinguisher To be fair, this wasn't a Christmas gift. Once a quarter, a $25 gift card was given out to those who hadn't taken a sick day. The IRS began saying that those gift cards would have to be taxed, that they were like additional pay. Only physical items could be considered tax free gifts. So my company decided to give out gifts for those with perfect attendance. After thinking long and hard, they came up with...a fire extinguisher. It's one of those little models you keep under your sink. I'm not sure if the gift was to imply that our old building was a fire hazard or that they just had given up deciding what to get us and happen to be in the fire extinguisher aisle. I've never seen anyone have these at their desks. When they were being handed out, even my usually reserved co-workers were chuckling at it. What in the world were they thinking? Who wants a fire extinguisher as a gift? This has got to be the worst gift ever. Fortunately, my wife (queen of the shoppers) was able to identify the item as coming from Target. They let us exchange it for something from the same department. Now we're the proud owners of a shop vac. Much better.
Cooler on wheels I really don't get this one. It's a flimsy material lined with that grey water/cold proof cooler stuff you see on those bags at Costco to store your frozen foods on the way home. It's the kind of cooler they sell at the Colt's Pro-Shop for tailgating. This cooler is on two wheels with an airport style handle on top. Now the only time I use those suitcases on wheels are at the airport. And I KNOW you can't take pop or beverages on a plane anymore. Maybe they think we're all transporting cold beer from our cars to the office. A side note: a coworker (I assume. I'd never seen her before, but she was getting a gift so she must work here. I doubt people are coming in off the street to get a cooler on wheels.) thought it was a laptop case on wheels. Well, it is on wheels, but the flimsy construction and cooler-material interior seem to blow that out of the water. Sometimes I wonder how people get hired here.
Just like his Daddy.
Just like his Daddy.
